Insomnia and Love

Could these be connected? Why can’t I sleep even with sleeping pills? Is my body so strong that it ignores this vital mechanism in me? It is for sure that if I cannot sleep then something is wrong in my life? Is it any wonder these days in the world I might ask. People are so tired and stressed out. Angry. Here in Scandinavia the summer is coming. In Latin America winter. Yet one thing makes us common. We are all human beings living on this beautiful planet.
Why are we here in the first place? What is the reason? Ok, I can go to the basics. I organize my life. It is in perfect order. Not. Nobody’s life is in perfect order. Least of them mine. It is a chaotic mess. Yesterday I made some coffee and forgot to put water to the machine. The other day I was looking for a watch and I don’t own one. Am I getting old? I am 45 years old and I cannot sleep. Tonight. I tell you what it is.
I am a human being and you are a human being. I wave my hand and something happens in you. You cannot stop this something happening because it is automatic. We humans have inevitable influence on each others. You can imagine the magnitude how mankind affects to each others with just “hand wavings”. If I shoot 2 year old baby in the head, how does that affect to the world? Does it make 10 meter Tsunami to the East Coast of the USA? If I gas to death 1 million people because I can’t draw, what do you think it does to the collective soul of the humankind? I tell you what it does. It makes us to pay an invoice. And that invoice is cashed in right this very moment around the world.
It has begun. What has begun? This is up to you to find out. I can only guess, I am just Timo after all. A guitar player on an insigficant planet called Terra. But although I am insgnificant, tonight I cannot sleep. I am worried about my friend. And then you do not sleep. I know that worry doesnt help. But what can I do? I am an artist. And that means I feel. No Im sorry, I FEEL. And then makes me kneel and being humble.
How many truly genuinely humble people you know? I know. The answer is shocking.

I include a small video I just recorded from my balcony. Once again it is 5:39 in the morning and I cannot sleep. The birds are singing. The nature is perfect. I sit here and wonder its everlasting beauty and understand how fucked up I am. But goddammit, at least I feel.
Please carry each others with Love. We dont have much time 😦


The Streets of Venice

After hectic day in Venice full of life and laughter I return to my hotel and relax a bit.
It is midnight as I hear the bells of the Cathedral of Saint Mark and they seduce me for a
nightly stroll. I cannot resist the temptation so with a Pepsi and camera in my hand I set out
on my nightly journey to see how Venice looks this Sabbath night. Listening to Hans Zimmer’s
“Last Samurai” Soundtrack on my iPod I start my walk into the night.

I reach San Marco’s square. It is 01:11 at night. Just 7 hours before there was maybe 50 000 people
on this square. Now there are three plus me. And 2 dogs that are playing.
I stand in front of majestic church of San Marco or Saint Mark as we Lutherans have come to know him.
One of the 12 Apostles of Jesus Christ. Earlier I attended, out of morbid curiosity since I do not subscribe
to any religion, to a Catholic Mass in this very same church. The entrance to the church was only through
a Basilika and cost 4 euros. This took me through a souvenir shop that sold everything from Jesus key holders
to Coke. I did not find digital Jesus although I would have loved to have one. I cannot help but to think what
Jesus himself would think about all this nonsense that I see in here. It makes me almost physically sick.
I enter the majestic Cathedral where the mass is taking place. No photos it says. Hmm interesting. The mass is
a ritual that follows a strict routine. It has a clear reasoning for its sake and I am wondering what that reasoning
might be. Thousands of years man has built great monuments to “glorify God”. This is one of them. People sit and
stand up as the priest is reading from his holy book. I don’t pay much attention to what he is saying, largely because
my Italian is limited to words I could not use in the church. Suddenly a dejavu comes to me. I was 14 years old when I
played Toccata and Fugue in D minor, the saddest of all keys, in a church in Klaukkala where I grew up. I played it with
electric guitar and amplifier. I wonder if they would let me play here. I doubt.

I leave in the middle of the mass and wander upstairs encountering several guards that look extremely pissed off. They don’t
have guns though. I manage to take a picture and wonder if I would be burnt at the stake or if I should have a stake if I would
get caught.

All the fancy cathedrals in Venice. And in Paris. And you name it. What for is the question that comes to my mind when I am strolling
through the streets of Venice in the dark night. There is nobody here, only me, my camera and Leonardo Da Vinci Code.

They say that God is in these churches. I must envy these people who know this. I did not find a trace of life, laughter or joy in any of the
churches I visited today. Not in Saint Mark’s, not in Santa Maria’s. Not in Notre Dame few weeks ago in Paris.

They leave me cold with their fancy architechture and symbols and they force me to ask a question: if there is God, is he really hidden
inside these cold walls? Or could it be that she is in the laughter of a birthday party that was laughing so hard that it made the whole restaurant laugh. Or could it be that he is in those 2 dogs that play at Saint Mark’s square at 2 AM?

Where is God. Did we kill him like Nietsche proposed? Looking at this world in this moment, I am very sad to say that unfortunately it
really seems so.

I head back to the hotel looking at amazing night sky. I pass the 2 lions that guard the San Marco’s cathedral and head towards the hotel.
The receptionist welcomes me with a smile and hands me a leaflet “Shadows of Venice”. Little he knows about my trip and what I am
thinking. But he is kind and smiling. And he has more life in his smile than my whole 2 hour trip. Now that is something to think about.

Love and Peace, Timo